The Sex Positions She Wants You To Try Tonight

 You know what they say: nice guys finish last.

Some men liken sex to pizza: Even when it's bad, it's still pretty good. Those dudes are what I like to call "wrong." Chances are, more than a few women they've slept with wish they'd gone to Sbarro instead of bumping uglies with those mongers of mediocrity. Acquaint yourself with the four sex positions below, and you'll be the one she calls when she wants something gourmet delivered.

1.Coital Alignment Technique (CAT)

The clitoris. Many women's orgasms are dependent on stimulation of its pea-sized head, which is physiologically analogous to the head of your penis. Here's the thing: the clit is situated a short distance from the vaginal opening. In fact, research has determined that the greater this distance is, the less likely a women is to have an orgasm through intercourse alone—and just a fraction of an inch can make a difference. But don't think of the way the penis and vagina fit together as a design flaw. It's more of a design challenge. The good news? There's an orgasmic work-around, and it's called the coital alignment technique, or CAT.CAT is essentially a tweak of the missionary position, and that's how you're going to start out. Once you're happily inside her, shift your body toward her head. By doing so, your pubic bone will be in contact with her clitoris. In this position, you'll use more of a grinding motion, and in doing so, you'll give her the sort of clitoral stimulation most women need to come.In the advanced version, she puts her legs together underneath yours, so you're essentially planking on top of her. Inch up a little more, and using a drilling downward motion, rub the top side of your penile shaft on her clitoris. You'll want to be hard as a rock for sex positions like this, so learn the 11 secrets for harder erections.

2.Doggy Style

Although many women orgasm most readily via clitoral stimulation, a good number can come through the stimulation of an area on the front wall of the vagina, about 2 to 3 inches from the opening. You may know it as the "G-spot," although in recent years some scientists have asserted that this spongy area is part of the clitoral complex. But don't get bogged down in the nomenclature. Just find a position that puts your penis in contact with it. To that end, doggy style should be one of your go-tos.Of all sex positions, this one allows for deep penetration and stimulation of the area. The beauty part is that even if your partner is one of the many women who require clitoral stimulation to come, she'll find it a snap to reach between her legs and use her fingers or a toy while enjoying the deeper penetration and bestial feel. Hell, if you're a proficient multitasker, you can reach between her legs and give her a hand yourself. Start by getting behind her, and if she's not doing so already, encourage her to raise and lower her upper body to search for an angle that works for her.

3.The Bridge

If you're looking among sex positions that offer deep penetration, a better-than-good chance of stimulating the special spot on the front wall of her vagina, and mutual access to her clitoris, look no further than The Bridge. It looks like a two-person yoga pose. Done right, it can be transcendent.Start off in missionary. Ask her to bend her knees so that her feet are flat on the bed or floor. Then, holding her hips, shift back onto your wide-spread knees, supporting her weight as you bring her up and toward you. Keep slightly bent at the hip, and sit your ass on your ankles. She'll be able to rest her bottom on the tops of your thighs to make this less of a feat of strength for you.

4.Cowgirl

When she takes the reins, she'll be able to control the speed, depth, and angle of penetration and assume a supremely pleasing positionCowgirl is the sexual equivalent of tossing her the car keys: "You know how to get us there? Be my guest!" To begin, lie on your back so she can straddle you, facing in your direction. From this position, she can grind or move back-and-forth, up-and-down, in circles, or a mashup of all those motions.As with doggy style, guiding her fingers or a toy to her clitoris will be a relatively easy proposition. Leaning backward or forward will alter the angle at which you enter her, and by planking on top of you, she can stage an inverted version of an advanced CAT position to better stimulate her clitoris. Other variations include putting her feet flat on the bed or the floor so she can work you vertically in a deep and dirty squat. Meanwhile, in every variation of face-to-face woman-on-top, your hands are free to stimulate her breasts and nipples with your hands, or lean forward to get your face in all that goodness, which may very well heighten her enjoyment of being in the driver's seat.

Once you've both explored the many variations of a standard woman-on-top, she can straddle you facing your feet. Not only will that give you an arresting view of the action, she'll expand the number of sensations at her disposal.

Grant Stoddard

The 5 Best Ways to Have Your Best Sex Tonight

 Follow these hot tips and you'll astonish her like never before.

Few things are more gratifying than having your partner look up at you with genuine amazement after you've made her body sing it ways it never has before. (Gratifying for you and her, of course.) But sometimes after an A-plus, hole-in-one, gold medal session, she's not the only one laying there, astonished at what might have been the best sex of all time, ever. How the hell did I do that? you think. And can I repeat it? Well, here's the good news: You can. Easily. And there's no practice required. You can do it again tonight. Just follow these five tips to a T and you're sure to blow her mind like never before. 

1.Talk to Her

Sure, you're looking for elaborate techniques that will shock and awe. But none of those matter if you don't know her turn-ons, the things she responds to and—perhaps most importantly—the things she can't stand. Tonight, in a relaxed setting, initiate a conversation about what she likes. Take mental notes. She wants to be heard, and chances are she'll be giving you some news you can use.If she's coy, encourage her to get into some specific areas: Does she like to be dominated? What sort of porn does she enjoy? What makes her come the hardest? Are there trigger words or imagery that help her get to where she wants to go? What does she fantasize about doing? Not only will you gather valuable intel about how to conduct yourself when things get under way, you're already stimulating her biggest sexual organ (her brain, dummy) and becoming better in bed before you've even laid a hand on each other. Just make sure you don't say any of these moment-murdering phrases.

2.Take More Time

It's not true of all women, but many report that a prolonged session of kissing and above-the-clothes groping can greatly heighten her level of arousal, often indicated by the amount of natural vaginal lubricant she produces. Although your unbridled enthusiasm will be appreciated, getting her all juiced up before your fingers have wandered between her legs will really pay dividends if you're looking to make a lasting impression.If you see her squirming, rubbing her thighs together, spreading her legs, or simply grabbing your hand and placing it on her crotch, a successful session is practically in the bag. Pro tip: put together a great playlist you'll both enjoy and spend three normal-length songs at first and second base. By the time you round third, she'll be waving you in. And if you really want to show her the best sex of her life, check out one the yoga moves that are certain to improve your sex life.

3.Play Zone Offense

Women (and men) have far more erogenous zones than the handful we fixate on. If you've been following this guide, you'll already be stimulating one—her brain—by encouraging her to think about what she likes. Give a similar amount of a attention to her scalp, ears, neck, wrists, fingers, and feet, and make tonight's session an all-body experience she'll be bowled over by.

4.Reacquaint Yourself with the Equipment

Simply put: She's working with a lot you don't have. Probe the internet or crack a book and give yourself a refresher on what parts tend to respond favorably to what stimuli. Be reminded, for example, that some women find direct contact to the clitoris too intense and that simulating the area around it or manipulating it through the clitoral hood is a great way to start gauging her comfort level. Learn about how rubbing an area around two or three inches into the vagina and on the front anterior wall may be something that she's a fan of. (While you're researching, you'd also better Google what "anterior" means.)

5.Flip the Script to Slow Your Roll

It's not always the case, but a common complaint women have is that men's sexual response doesn't always line up with theirs, timing-wise. No one likes to be the proverbial two-pump chump, so forget what you think you know about how a sexual experience. It's not your fault, of course. The baseball analogy I used earlier strongly suggests a certain sequence. But if you feel like you're always getting close to the "point of no return" too quickly, get in the habit of pulling out. Then go down on her, stimulate her manually, kiss her other erogenous zones or simply make out until things have simmered down a little. Employ this technique enough, and you'll be able to get a better sense of your own response gradually lengthening the amount of time you can have intercourse.

Grant Stoddard

6 Women Reveal Men's Biggest Oral Sex Mistakes

 "Half-heartedly lapping for like 45 seconds then demanding praise...super lame."

If you like going down on your female partner, you're in luck—and more importantly, so is she—because a lack of enthusiasm for cunnilingus is the hardest obstacle to overcome if you ever want to perform it convincingly and satisfactorily. And we should all want to be good at it because, done right, it's more likely to end in a toe-curling orgasm for her than vaginal intercourse. According to one meta study, only 25% of women are consistently orgasmic during sex.

The thing is, a lot of women complain that would-be cunning linguists are making a lot of common mistakes. We know this because we asked them and compiled some of their most common responses below. So read on to make sure that you're no neophyte in the high art of pleasing her in the most intimate of ways.

1. Assuming all women like the same things.

"One time I had a guy go down on me and actually used the line, 'My ex said I gave the best head.' " – A, Vancouver, BC.

You had a past lover who raved about the way you went down on her. Your ability to make her feel good made you feel good and that's great. But it doesn't change the fact that each new partner comes complete with her very own set of likes, and dislikes. So while thinking back on rave reviews is manna for your ego, giving your partner boilerplate oral isn't in either of your best interests. Instead, soak up verbal and nonverbal cues from her like a sponge. While it's advantageous to have a cache of tried and tested techniques at your disposal, the only way to get her where she wants to go is to attune yourself to what works for her.

2. Thinking of cunnilingus as foreplay.

"Half-heartedly lapping for like 45 seconds then demanding praise…super lame." –  J, Brooklyn, NY.

Dr. Ian Kerner, author of She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman encourages you to think of cunnilingus not as foreplay but as coreplay, the centerpiece of a complete act of outercourse that culminates in her orgasm. "Many men approach cunnilingus as an optional appetizer," he says. "However, this approach does not give a woman ample time to become aroused and ready for direct clitoral contact, nor do a few licks here and there provide the persistent, consistent clitoral stimulation that intensifies arousal." Keep this up and, before you know it, you'll be a freaking god in the bedroom.

3. Being unenthusiastic.

"We know when you're faking it. If you hate going down on a girl then just say it. We can't guarantee it won't be a dealbreaker (because, come on now) but nothing's worse than a guy who gives you a cursory lick with a facial expression akin to a child who hates broccoli and then darts away thinking he's done 'woke guy' duty. Uh, no dude.  We can tell time." – E, Seattle, WA.

Back to the Body is a world-traveling women's retreat run by sex educator and author Pamela Madsen. She explains that a lot of women harbour feelings of shame about their vulva and worry about how they look and smell.  "The best orgasms happen when women know that their partner loves their pussy," she explains adding that partners would do well to verbalize their excitement and arousal when up close and personal with a woman's vulva.  This is a sentiment echoed by Dr. Kerner. "Cunnilingus is an extremely vulnerable act and many women feel a lack of genital self-esteem," he says. "Be sure to reassure her that her smell and taste turn you on, and that you're enjoying being there and that there's no rush; she has all the time in the world."To Kerner's last point: it's important not to be too goal-oriented. You run the risk of screwing hings up completely. And anyway, you should be enthusiastic. Going down on her is one of the surefire ways to make sex last (much) longer.

4. Tongue-pummeling the clitoris like a speed bag.

"Not checking in to make sure he has the pressure right.  Cunnilingus is like a massage…it's important to get the right pressure so that it's satisfying but not overwhelming." – B,  London, UK.

Of course, everyone is different but many of the women I polled mentioned that too much direct pressure on the clitoris can be too intense to be enjoyable. "The head of the clitoris is homologous to the head of the penis, meaning they come from the same embryonic tissue, "explains clinical sexologist and creator of online video series, "Sexplanations," Dr. Lindsey Doe. "The same way you probably don't want me sucking, flicking, and rubbing the head of your dick is the same for my clit. Run your tongue along the length of the clitoral shaft. Use the clitoral hood or prepuce to massage it without direct stimulation. And for goodness sake, pay attention to by body cues because I might want less, more, or something different altogether." "We each have our own pressure preference," adds sexologist Amy Levine. "The clitoris is nerve packed—more nerve endings than the entire penis—and while some women may love a firm touch, for other's it's too sensitive. Take note of her verbal and nonverbal cues."

5. Not using your fingers or using them as a proxy for your penis.

"Fingering straight, instead of curling the fingers upwards towards the front of the pelvis to hit the g spot feels like a tiny penis. It doesn't do much." – B, London. UK.

Not all women like their cunnilingus accompanied by fingering but many of the women I spoke with said that having their g-spots rubbed in conjunction with a mouth on and around their vulva made for a more powerful and reliable orgasm, particularly when doing the "come hither" motion and rubbing the spongy area one to three inches up on the  front wall of their vagina. "Don't think of your fingers as a proxy for your penis; it's not about the thrusting; it's more about the penetration and pressure," says Dr. Kerner. "The vagina naturally tents and contracts, so insert one or two fingers into the vagina; press upwards against the g-spot, let her vaginal muscles nestle and clench against your fingers."

6. Not taking a hint.

"When you say, 'Mmm, that's so good, I love that', and they immediately switch it up. If something feels amazing, please oh please keep doing it just like that." – L, Brooklyn, NY.

While her thighs my be on your ears from time to time, listening to the verbal and nonverbal cues she's giving you is going to be a key part of whether she looks forward to or is frustrated by the oral you give her. Typically, Moans, "yeahs" and "oh my God"s mean "keep doing exactly what you're doing" though according to many of the women, I spoke with these are often interpreted as requests to change things up. Another respondent, J of Brooklyn,  expressed it this way: "Moving back to foreplay-style moves like licking the inner thigh once a pattern and rhythm has already been established sucks. I'm trying to focus on an orgasm!"

Prolonged silences on the other hand, my require you to open other channels of communication. Don't be afraid to ask what she likes. Then do that thing. And while you're having those conversations, just make sure you don't say any of the phrases that you should never say to a naked woman.

Grant Stoddard

Stereotypes We Need to Drop

 Stereotypes about age, relationships, and interests can do real damage.

Now that we're on the cusp of a new decade, it's time to step back and take a big-picture look at how we've been doing things—and how we might be able to do them better. We can start by rethinking the assumptions and stereotypes we hold about others. Of course there are plenty of serious and damaging stereotypes we should all be working hard to get rid of, but there are also smaller, less obvious assumptions that many of us make on a day-to-day basis: conclusions we make based on people's ages, their jobs, their relationships, and even their hobbies. To start things right in 2010, here are 14 stereotypes we need to drop.

1.Single people are eager for relationships.

If romantic comedies are to be believed, any person who's single is just a relationship person who has yet to find the right partner. But among the increasing number of Americans living single, many are doing so by choice, not simply waiting to find the perfect significant other. A 2017 study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that those who stay single have higher self-esteem on average than those who entered relationships that lasted less than a year. So, despite what you may assume, you don't have to keep trying to hook up your single friend with your barista.

2.Married people are boring.

On the flip side, some single people and unmarried couples might worry that partnering up or taking their relationship to the next level means "settling down": giving up wild nights out, spontaneity, or any fun at all. But numerous researchers and relationship experts emphasize that plenty of married people are still having fun. In fact, successful long-term relationships require some sort of "adventurousness" and a willingness to try new things with one's partner.And couples that do feel a little stagnant can rebound back from boring. As psychotherapist Tina Tessina, PhD, explains to The Healthy, even married couples who are dealing with sexlessness don't have to stay that way. With the right combination of attention and effort, they can return to the vigor they once had.

3.Married couples without kids can't wait to have them.

When a couple gets married, their social circle can suddenly become unbearably nosy, asking when they're planning to have kids and assuming that's the next phase in their relationship. But a growing number of young couples are opting to go child-free, and feel totally comfortable with that choice. As sociology professor Amy Blackstone sums it up to Today, "We will miss some experiences, but I don't think that because that is true, that it necessarily follows we're unhappy. I'm very happy with my decision. My husband and I have a life that we love."

4.Young people are having more sex than ever.

Many of us assume that young people are dating and having sex at increasing rates every year. But a 2017 study in the journal Child Development from psychologists Jean M. Twenge and Heejung Park, found that the percentage of teens who have been on a date is at its lowest ever in recent years—and the percentage of teens having sex is similarly low. Kids today days are not as wild as you think.

5.Millennials are immature.

Those born between 1981 and 1996 are still assumed to be less independent and capable of living an adult life than those in earlier generations—whether it's the stereotype that they still live in their parents' basements, or that they don't understand how finances work. But in fact, millennials are just as financially literate and independent as other generations are—and in some ways, more so. Millennials know how much they will need to retire in numbers that are on par with baby boomers and Generation Xers. And a survey of 90,000 workers found that millennials are the most competitive of any generation, with 59 percent saying that competition is "what gets [me] up in the morning."

6.And they have no loyalty to employers.

Another negative characterization of millennials is that they barely stick around a job long enough to get through training before they move on to the next opportunity. In fact, millennials actually stay with their employers longer than those in Generation X did. According to recent findings from Pew Research, "Millennials are less likely to have been with their employer for less than a year than Generation X workers were at the same age, and they are more likely to have been with their employer for a fairly long period like 3 to 6 years."

7.Guys don't care about romance.

Men are often assumed to be less interested in romance than women. But in a number of areas, men have proven to be equally if not more committed to traditional ideas of romance in relationships than women. For example, an oft-cited 1986 study in the Journal of Adolescence found that 48 percent of men believe in love at first sight compared to only 28 percent of women. On the Romantic Beliefs Scale—which asks people how much they agree with statements like "the person I love will make a perfect romantic partner"—men, on average, outscore women. Take that, preconceived notions!

8.Men and women just think differently.

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus? As cognitive neuroscientist Gina Rippon tells The Guardian, while many people maintain the idea that there is a "male brain" and a "female brain," research says that's simply not the case. "The idea of the male brain and the female brain suggests that each is a characteristically homogenous thing and that whoever has got a male brain, say, will have the same kind of aptitudes, preferences, and personalities as everyone else with that 'type' of brain," she says. "We now know that is not the case. We are at the point where we need to say, 'Forget the male and female brain; it's a distraction, it's inaccurate.'"

9.Relationships with conflicts are unhealthy.

Obviously it's not a good thing if a couple is having shouting matches every other day, but the assumption that having differences with your significant other is unhealthy is not actually true. According to renowned relationship expert John Gottman, 69 percent of relationship conflicts "are perpetual (they keep recurring), so what is required is acceptance of one another's personality differences. Dialogue about these perpetual issues to avoid gridlock and resentment. The goal then is to manage conflict, not resolve it."

10.Gamers are immature and lazy.

Regardless of their age, people who play video games still get pigeonholed as immature—and unemployed. But the numbers just don't match the assumptions. According to a 2014 study by LifeCourse Associates, gamers are more likely to be fully employed than non-gamers (42 percent to 39 percent), and also more likely to say they are working in the career they want (45 percent to 37 percent). And you thought they didn't have drive!

11.Young people are obsessed with social media.

There's no question that Facebook and the other social media platforms transformed the way we interact with one another. But while college and high school students were the ones who first adopted these new forms of communication, they're now setting a new trend: logging off. Market research firm Infinite Dial discovered a decline in Facebook use among people aged 12 to 34, and eMarketer found that, for the first time, a majority of U.S. internet users between the ages of 12 and 17 are not using the platform at least once a month. The reasons run the gamut, from feeling overwhelmed by the time involved to wanting more real-life experiences, but it reflects a shift away from our standard image of young people as social media-obsessed. Keep complaining about Gen Z in your Facebook statuses: They definitely won't see it.

12.City dwellers are more tech-obsessed than those in rural communities.

Sure, major tech companies are usually based in big cities, but that doesn't mean people in rural communities are all living like they're in the 1800s. For better or worse, those in rural areas are just as internet-obsessed as those in urban areas. In fact, just this year the National Institute of Mental Health and Neurosciences (Nimhans) found internet addiction in the youth of rural communities (3.5 percent) to be more than double that of those in urban communities (1.3 percent). Meanwhile, efforts like the Rural Innovation Initiative are bringing high-speed internet to more remote areas in the country.

13.Big-city dwellers won't help strangers in need.

It's a familiar trope: New Yorkers are too busy worrying about their harried lives to stop and help a stranger in need. While every city has its share of jerks, researcher Robert Levine and his colleagues conducted a range of experiments in cities across the globe, recording how people responded to situations like someone attempting to cross the street, or a person pretending to accidentally drop a pen. He found that those in big cities were absolutely willing to be helpful, but that there was a difference in tone. New Yorkers will totally help you, but they might not be quite as friendly about it as people in more laid-back locales.

14.You can't teach old workers new tricks.

Just as millennials are unfairly stereotyped as selfish and needy, older workers get smeared as slow to adapt or pick up new skills in the workplace. It's just not true! The average age of a successful entrepreneur is between 42 and 47. And a 2006 study in the Review of General Psychology found that even beyond the age of 80, knowledge and expertise continue to increase. As no less an authority than the Harvard Business Review puts it, "People of every age are motivated to come to work. If you can create an inclusive, fair, and meaningful experience for older employees, as well as younger ones, you'll not only find your company becomes more innovative, engaging, and profitable over time, you will be benefiting society at large."

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 "I love her, and it is the beginning of everything." — F. Scott Fitzgerald

Why People Close Their Eyes When They Kiss

 Science says it's all about the feeling.

If you were to deconstruct a simple romantic kiss, it might look something like this: Lean in, close your eyes, and pucker up. No matter how kisses differ—in partners, in levels of passion—it seems as if we've all been trained to never (we repeat: never) open our eyes during a kiss. But why is this the case? How did it come to be such a ubiquitous rule that we all—each and every one of us—always close our eyes when we kiss?Well, we did some digging, and the answer has nothing to do with tradition. It's all in the science.According to a study published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology: Human Perception and Performance, you likely close your eyes instinctively during a kiss, as the research shows that performing a challenging visual task could reduce your ability to comprehend stimuli associated with the other senses—in this case, touch. In general, humans aren't that adept at using all of their senses simultaneously. (This explains, for example, why you might not notice your phone vibrating in your pocket while searching for a friend in a large crowd at a loud concert.)Basically, the brain appreciates the touch of your partner's lips even more when your eyes are closed, since it has fewer outside stimuli to focus on. So, when you close your eyes to prepare for a kiss, you only do so in the name of feeling the kiss, which your brain subconsciously decided was more important than seeing the kiss. It's why you close your eyes during other pleasurable moments, like when you're really feeling a particularly moving song or a Michelin-worthy meal ("mmm, that's amazing!").And, while this one is only a theory, some scientists believe that the closed-eyes kiss may have begun centuries ago, when locking lips was less a romantic move and more a mandatory mating ritual for purely reproductive purposes. Closing eyes was an evolutionary trick to ensure no outside stimuli could distract from the reproductive process.Finally, there's one other reason why we close our eyes in the throes of passion—and it boils down to trust. By closing your eyes, you're letting your partner know that you're able to let go and fully enjoy the moment with them.So, unless your brain has mastered the monk-like art of detecting and interpreting multiple sensory stimuli at the same time (highly unlikely), you'll be keeping your eyes closed for every romantic kiss.

Amazing Beauties Gallery (20photos)

 "Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction." — Antoine de Saint-Exupéry